I'm Going There Today

Today I want to express my gratitude for temples. I have a friend who challenged me to go to the temple three times a week until I leave on my mission. At first I thought, "Wow, that's a lot" and wondered if I could do it. But I recognized, as he did, that if I had time to sleep in, I definitely had time to go to the temple. I've appreciated this challenge immensely. I still feel like three times is a lot and often I can think of many other things I could be doing with my time and wonder if it's worth it. But each time I go I feel a renewed gratitude for that challenge and for the opportunity I have to go to the temple. I love going so often and when I don't want to leave it makes it easier when I remind myself I will be back soon. I'm grateful for the blessings of the temple and the peace and strength that comes into my heart as I make the temple a central part of my life. Even if no one else can tell a difference, I certainly feel like a happier, kinder, and more loving person. My testimony of the gospel and my love for Heavenly Father and the Savior grow and deepen with each returning visit. I'm grateful for the way the temple has changed me and I hope to be a regular attendant of the temple for the rest of my life.

Living It Up, MOA Style!

Friday night I enjoyed a wonderful evening of music, Islamic art, Baklava, and friends (who were too busy running Baklava around and filling water cups), all in the comforts of my on-campus home. As I sat at the front desk, acting like I still work there and answering questions about the location of bathrooms and such, I basked in the happiness that being and belonging in the BYU Museum of Art brings me. Sitting at that desk and watching the crowds milling about brought me so much joy because it was evidence of a dream come true.

As a freshman entering the world of BYU campus, I had no idea what I wanted to study or what I wanted to be when I grow up. But I did know that while a student I wanted to work at the BYU Museum of Art. I quickly fell in love with the building and its galleries and longed to be a part of it in any way. Gift shop, security, education - I didn't care where or how, I just knew I belonged in this building. Last November, the opening of the Carl Bloch exhibit allowed my dream to come true and I started work as a shy, quiet, insecure education girl. I was so scared of answering phones that the first time it rang after Katie left me at the front desk, I ignored it. I remember the security guard sitting next to me made fun of me for ignoring my phone, so the next time it rang I gathered all my courage and answered. Soon answering phones became second nature. I answered the phone so many times each day that I stuttered the next time I answered the phone at home. I picked up the phone and bit my tongue to stop myself from saying "Museum of Art, this is Ruth." Then I couldn't remember how people usually answer phones. It took me a good 5 seconds to remember the word "Hello."

The blessings that have resulted from working at the MOA are innumerable. It hasn't always been fun. It's a job and often it feels like just that--a hard, sometimes boring, sometimes hectic, demanding, exhausting job. But all those difficult moments are well worth the lessons I've learned, the friends I've made, the adventures I've experienced, and the moments I've enjoyed.

Carl Bloch taught me how to deal with lots and lots and lots of people, some of them happy and appreciative, many of them impatient, annoyed, or even out-right angry. I learned that I like being in charge, knowing all the answers, and being able to fix the technology. I loved helping people and I got really good at reserving tickets online. I learned I don't like dealing with VIPs. I'm not confident or professional enough for that yet. But I did like seeing VIPs from a distance, especially General Authorities. I loved the excitement of working on busy days, especially over Christmas break. I loved that sense of authority that came from running the museum with the
other students when all the full-time staff had gone home. I think I'll always feel like I own the MOA, just a little bit. Once May 8th hit, I adored the silence and the stillness that penetrated the MOA and the absence of three thousand people scrambling to get into the exhibit. As much as I loved working during Bloch, I felt very ready for it to end. I'm grateful for my involvement in that exhibition. It brought Carl and I to a first name basis.

(Carl painted this -->)

Besides everything I've learned and all the ways I've grown, the people I've met and the friends I've made are the greatest part of having worked at the MOA. I love my MOA friends!!!! I love being part of the MOA family. Here are some memories that were made possible because I worked at the MOA:

Last Day of Carl Bloch

I counted so many of these tickets!!! Everyday. Thousands of tickets. I counted them in stacks of 50, so I got really good at counting to 50. This picture also shows the beloved K-room as it was used during Carl Bloch (notice Claire's coat on the coat rack) and the wonderful couch where I took a long nap in the middle of that exhausting day. Also included in this picture are two MOA education gems, Nicole and Katie. Nicole and I worked together every Friday night and Saturday morning. Fun stuff!!!



The lovely ladies of MOA Education who helped make Bloch possible. I loved being part of this sisterhood and I miss all those who have graduated/left. I love things like exhibit openings because it gives me a chance to see many of these people again.

POST-BLOCH PARTY!!!

I may have had too much fun at this party. I simply couldn't contain my joy caused by the exhibit ending and I had lots of energy after my long nap in the K-room. This party is definitely one of my favorite memories of all time, even if Keith did prove us all wrong by easily winning the "Most Popular Guard" contest.

Home Away from Home

This is me and my Emma at my desk. I loved having a home on campus with my own desk, my own computer, my own phone, and a spot to leave my stuff when I didn't want to carry it around with me. Basically, I had the best job on campus. I enjoyed when friends or family would visit me at work, like Emma here. It was fun to show them where I lived and to introduce them to the places that mean so much to me.

Also, Emma left me this adorable note on my whiteboard that stayed up for months. It was too heartfelt for me to erase (in the end, Katie was the one who erased it).

Yankee Spirit Exhibit Opening

The times I've dressed patriotic for MOA events is a big number--like 4 or 5. This was our first patriotic event and provided me with an excuse to buy red heels and a new blue shirt. Obviously, I needed those patriotic items!

MOA Besties

One cold, rainy spring night, I came home to an empty apartment and faced an empty, lonely evening. I texted Katie because I wanted to visit her, but she lived so far away, neither of us had a car, and it was cold and rainy outside. She surprised me by saying she'd come visit anyway. So she made the long walk through the cold and the rain just to cheer me up! That's true friendship. We made peach cobbler and hung out in my cozy kitchen. This potentially lonely night turned into one of my favorite spring memories. This girl has blessed my life in so many ways!

Chillin' at Katie's and telling wonderful stories. These girls made my spring term wonderful with nights like this one.

The best part about the end of the summer was that Katie came back. She stayed at my apartment a few nights before moving into her new apartment and she made a fantastic roommate. One afternoon as we were reading outside, it started to rain. So we built an umbrella fort! It worked beautifully. But we did too much laughing and talking to get any reading done and we only used it for a little while before the sun came out again. Thank you, Katie, for so many wonderful memories (like playing dress-ups while taking inventory and going on all sorts of magical adventures around the MOA and all those times you pretend to listen to me and lots of other things I don't have pictures of)!

Jana, another one of those MOA blessings. I love that she is graduated, because too many friends are too busy with homework to have time to play with me. This adventure took place the beginning of last fall. We made paper boats by meticulously following the instructions on some random website. Then we floated our boats down the stream. They held up well, both taking two voyages down the stream. I'm glad Jana and I finally became friends after several months of working together.

Connections at the MOA=Walks on the Roof

In honor of Jana's last day at work, she took us to the roof (my second time going up there--gotta love security guard friends). It's beautiful up there! Here are some pictures documenting our adventure.

Mission Time

 Look! They made guesses! And Kelly even got it right! I love my MOA family. The best part is that they decided to theme their guesses. Can you find the theme? It has to do with something I love and Catherine's doesn't actually fit in.

Friends

I'll always be grateful for life at the MOA, for the things I've learned and the friends I've made. I'm grateful I could be at the exhibit opening for Beauty and Belief and that I still feel so at home and welcomed when I visit the MOA. I haven't even mentioned how happy the new Islamic art made me feel! But this post is long enough. Expressing my love for art will have to wait for another day and another post.

Life

Today I am just grateful for life. It seems a little like cheating, because that's such a broad topic, but it's too hard to choose one specific thing right now.

Yesterday when I got home from a long shopping trip I just felt exhausted. It's amazing how walking around looking at and trying on clothes can make you feel so tired. As I walked from the car to my apartment I felt some sadness creeping into my heart and the temptation of self-pity and pessimism tugging at my thoughts. It would have been easy to focus on those little imperfections of life that I was thinking about, but I realized that was a stupid idea! There is so much good in life. Why focus on the bad and allow it to suffocate the good?! Making this shift in my attitude, I felt a sudden love for my life--the good and the bad. It was funny to feel so happy as I thought about the good things and the things I wish were different. I guess that's what perspective does to you. Because I shifted my focus to all the wonderful aspects of life, the negative aspects faded in importance and I saw them as small annoyances that added some color and challenge to life. Instead of going home exhausted, hungry, and sad, I went home exhausted and hungry but ready to enjoy the rest of my evening. I'm grateful for the left-over Chinese food I got to eat when I got home. I'm grateful for people to talk to while I was eating. I'm grateful for good friends who come and get me to hang out with them. I'm grateful for a chill evening with entertainment (provided by those good friends) and spontaneous talent shows. I'm grateful for meeting new people and describing ourselves based on our green Apples to Apples cards. I'm grateful for a roommate who will stay up late talking about life, listening to my stories, and helping me figure out what I'm trying to say and how to say it.

I'm grateful for Showtunes Saturday Night. Listening to Showtunes last night, I told Bryan I wished they would end with a really wonderful song, like Astonishing from Little Woman. Shortly after I said that, she announced Five Forever from Little Woman as the final song. Good work, Laura Bedore! That's a fantastic finale song!

I realized last night that this song defines many aspects of my life. First of all, it reminds me of all the times I've felt a close sense of unity and camaraderie within a small group of friends. The members of WAGA in 7th grade, my traveling companions in Germany, the Beauty and the Beast enchanted ensemble in high school, my Heritage Tours family the summer after I graduated, my crazy and wonderful freshman roommates, all my MOA besties, my summer ward friends, and my current best friends--all these groups have provided me with a sense of belonging and confidence that together we would fight and share each others battles. It seemed like we would never be parted. However, with each group I've been reminded of the truth that Jo eventually comes to realize--that people grow up, they move on or move away, our lives go in different directions, friendships change, people change, and people disappoint. Each group ended or faded in different ways. Some were extremely painful and some happened more slowly and naturally. The traveling ended and we parted ways, or a friend would drop off from the group here and there until I found myself alone again. Whenever my Five Forever groups end, it always makes me very sad. But I recognize that this is part of life and it really isn't a bad thing. I've loved my friends at every stage of life, but I'm also grateful that I've been able to move on and for all the new friendships that I've made over the years. It also amazes me and brings me great joy as I witness certain friendships from each of those groups continuing through the years and through the changes. Although I don't see many of those friends as often as I would like, I'm grateful that we can sometimes go for long stretches of separation and slip right back into our friendship when we do meet again. I hope these friendships (and many of my current friendships) last my whole life.

Another connection to my life that I made last night as I listened to this song comes in at 2:55:

Meg-And if John Brooke were here, he'd be our brother, too.

Laurie-Meg's in love!

Jo-We'll consider any friend.

I hate boyfriends. I've gotten better at controlling/dealing with this hatred, but I still find myself hating the boyfriends (and girlfriends) of my best friends, at least a little. Freshman year was really hard, but, like I said, I've gotten much better at supporting my friends in their relationships instead of being angry that they don't hang out with me anymore. (It helps when I like the person they're dating and it has potential to go somewhere. Freshman year all the relationships were just stupid.) I think I understand Jo's emotion at this moment. She obviously isn't thrilled at the idea of Meg being in love. She doesn't want things to change and she doesn't want to be replaced. I like that she deals with the situation by saying they'll consider any friend. She seems to emphasize that friends are welcome, but she doesn't want anything more than that happening to anyone. Like Jo, I don't like being replaced, but there always seems to come a time when I find I can accept the replacement because I know that's how things have to be and that they are best this way. I see the happiness of my friend and then I feel happy too. Hopefully I'll continue to be like Jo and some day find myself as the one happily in love.

Watching this performance of Five Forever, I also noticed the interaction between Amy and Laurie. If you don't know their story, spoiler alert! Laurie proposes to Jo, she rejects him, and years later Amy (the youngest sister) and Laurie fall in love and get married. For some reason, I just love thinking about relationships and how they have changed, whether for better or for worse. I love looking back in my life and realizing that a year ago or even six months ago I would never have suspected that I would be friends with a certain person or group of people. Sometimes I wish I could go back and tell myself, "Hey, Ruth! In a year from now you'll be best friends with this random person in your ward who you've never really talked to and who you can't even imagine being friends with right now" or "In a few months you'll be best friends with this person you don't understand right now and don't really like." Perhaps it's the realization that life is not stagnant and that interesting and exciting friendships sometimes sprout from the least expected places that causes me to love thinking about and noticing these things so much. In a similar way, I take an interest in watching Amy and Laurie interact in this song and enjoy thinking to myself, "They have no idea what's going to happen to them in just a few years! They are so unsuspecting!"

Finally, I just love this song! The singing, the dancing, the words, the story, EVERYTHING!!! It is beautiful and happy and makes me feel good on the inside. I'm grateful for good music and the effect it has on me.

And so I finish this post with no real theme besides life to tie it all together. I'm grateful for all the little things that have enriched my life in the past few days and for everything that makes life interesting and keeps me on my toes. L'Chaim!